what 27 feels like

I know it’s almost the end of the year & this is where my end of the year/new beginnings post should be. But before I talk about those topics I really still want to share my annual birthday post reflecting on my age & life, & not just where my business & dreams have taken me. So I’m doing it. I’m sharing my what my life is like right now. I’m sharing what 27 feels like.

This age feels like an older one. It feels like one that seems more experienced. I did a shoot at the end of October & my photographer friend, Sam, said that she could see the maturity in my face through her lens. I totally got what she meant. That at some point we look, really take a look at the people around us or even ourselves sometimes, & though we are familiar with what we’re looking at, there’s a distinct moment when we can see something just a little bit different staring back. That’s how this age feels. It’s still me, but 27 feels different.

I’m at a place in my life where I’m still a lone ranger. I’m still the one not married. I’m still the one with no kids. I’m still the one with the unconventional job. But what I’m finally realizing is that of course I am still the one who is all of these things because I have always been the one who has never done what everyone else around her has. My path & decisions have been unique & they have been entirely me. At 27, I’m finally seeing that even though what I want in life is similar to those around me, it is still a complete stranger to what they all have so it only makes sense that my life would look strange & unalike too. I get to have all my nows now, & all of theirs eventually down the road, so why would I complain about getting to do both?

At this age I feel all the feels still. I am probably more emotional at 27 than I was ten years ago as a teenager. But I’m okay with it. It’s not always easy dealing with emotions in a really raw way, especially knowing that it not only affects your life, but the ones around you that you love. At this age though, I know myself more than at any other age. I know what I need. I know how I react. I know that I’ll process things, eventually. Although I still don’t always know how to fully deal with my emotions, I’m getting there & trying to be more cautious & logical when needed. Older & mature people still have emotions & things are still allowed to affect & bother you. You don’t have to make excuses for how you feel & you should never let anyone tell you that what you feel isn’t valid. Emotions to me are uncontrollable, in the sense that I can’t stop them from coming. They are just a part of me, & at 27, & every age from here on out, it’s my responsibility to maneuver through them so that I can live my best life & be the best version of myself that I can be. Emotions aren’t my weakness. They are actually proof of my strength.

My favorite thing about being 27? That I feel fully confident in myself & in my own skin. I know who I am & I don’t let others define me. I can’t be anyone else but myself, so why even try? Especially because being me is good enough. I am good enough. And my body is too. I am unashamed of my pant size, my curves, my features, & my flaws. I only have one body to live in & carry me throughout this life & I’m not going to waste my time criticizing it when I could love it & be proud of it instead. I’ve felt this way long before turning 27, but the fact that I can be a 27 year old example of what it’s like to accept yourself at any size, weight, shape, or personality trait is what makes me love feeling this way the most. I am a 27 year old women who truly loves herself & is happy with what her body looks like, & no one can say a damn thing that will make me change my mind about either of those truths.

I’ve also done a whole lot of career “stuff” at 27. I know I said I wasn’t going to talk about my job on this post. But I think it deserves a quick mention because at this young of an age working in a field that is completely new & in a city that hasn’t full adapted to this market, I have accomplished a whole lot. I am so proud of 19 year old me for starting myself on this journey because 27 year old me is so pleased with all that we’ve done. Best part about it? I’ve done this all by myself. The fact that I wake up everyday not knowing where my next paycheck is coming from, but choosing to work hard & not giving up in the lonely process of working for myself feels good. My job might not look like a job to so many people, but at 27 I have built something that no one can take away from me & that feels so great to say! You’re a 27 year old dream chaser & you’re totally making it work, girl!

Want to know what else 27 feels like? It feels like finally being content in life, or at least right on the cusp of it. Life is too short to be dwelling on how we wish things were. It’s too important to let misery get the best of you. And I’m not going to waste time in life feeling like all the one day’s are better than right now. I of course have my moments where my desires don’t seem to be fulfilled yet, but at 27 I’m choosing to focus on all the good things that I do have that fill my life with worth it moments. There is always going to be more in life that we want, but what we have today we once wished for too, so just be grateful for the right now or you’re going to miss out on it. At 27, I feel that more than ever. And I’m so glad that I’m realizing that each period of time has purpose & meaning. I’m choosing to be okay with how my everyday looks because I know before long my everyday’s are going to change & look different all of a sudden & I don’t want to miss out on my now. I want to be intentional & show up.

Life feels wide open for me all of a sudden. I feel like my dreams are just beginning. I feel like my life is headed where I’ve always wanted it to. I feel like this age holds so much opportunity & risk all at the same time. Not everyone fixates on ages & birthdays & the journey’s they hold like I do. I’m sure blogging has a whole lot to do with it & I have no clue if I’d still reflect & document my life if I didn’t have this space. But milestones are so important in life! They truly are a reason to celebrate. The growth, the love, the adventure, it all deserves a moment in the spotlight to be recognized. I feel like this year is going to be good, even though it has just begun. I can feel that more of life is just around the corner waiting for me. And I can’t wait to experience it.

Loving my body, being myself & okay with where I’m at in life, proud of all that I’ve done, knowing my emotions, & living with intention, all of this is me & this is exactly what 27 feels like.

Always know that there is so much change in life that deserves to be noticed, no matter how big or small, looking back to see how far you’ve moved forward is important & worth celebrating!

– abbey kay

*brought to you by a girl who wrote this post three times, but is content in knowing that this final one is what actually needed to be said