It’s two thirds of the way through January & I’m just now getting around to writing my first post of the year. Life’s just been busy lately, & I feel like I haven’t stopped saying that in such a long time. I wanted to start 2017 out on top of blogging & writing & being less busy with “life” & more busy with my passions. But that honestly just hasn’t happened yet. I’ve had some ideas rolling around in my head about how I wanted to tackle & take on the new year ahead, & I’ve delayed writing them down. I ended up reading my goals for last year to see if I actually did them & it lead to the direction of this post taking a turn.
Be there. Balance. Create.
These are the things that I wanted to be better at last year… I wanted to be there & be present for more things. I wasn’t. I completely checked out to the majority of life about 1/3 of the way through the year for circumstances that I couldn’t control. I wanted to learn how to balance life & everything in between. I didn’t. I couldn’t cope with some major changes that were happening & it forced be to just sit & not do much. I wanted to create more last year. I have & still am. This is probably the one thing I did most last year. I created. I pushed myself (a little bit), & I started to do even more things than I ever thought were possible. Hey, one out of three ain’t bad, right?
If I learned anything from what I did/didn’t accomplish last year, it’s that it takes a whole lot longer than 366 days to actually change an aspect of who you are & what you want to do in life, despite having that extra day this past trip around the sun. This last year anxiety & depression hit me pretty hard, so being there wasn’t always easy when dealing with both of those in my life. And because of those two things, it threw off any idea of balance I thought I knew or was trying to have. The only thing that made me feel better in the midst of all of the mental chaos was creating. When I did that frequently, I did it well, & it made me feel alive.
Last year made me realize a lot. I might never be somebody who is someone who likes to always join in for all the fun & be at every party. I might think that I want to be the person who thoroughly enjoys events & concerts & nightly outings, but it’s okay that I’m not. I might not ever be someone who figures oh how to fully mark off my to-do list because I’m constantly adding more to it. I might forever be juggling life & dreams & emotion & reality.That’s okay too. But I do know I was made to create. I was made to write. I was made to take photos. I was made to be in awe of life & peer around it’s every corner to find beauty. So that’s what I plan to do this year. My only goal is this, to remember how truly life giving it is to do the things I love, & then, to remember to do them everyday.
I look at Instagram for inspiration. So I’ll look. I read Darling Magazine to feel encouraged. So I’ll read. I take photos to find the hidden things in life worth seeing. So I’ll capture. I best express myself & the confusion in my head by getting it out & writing it down. So I’ll write.
There are honestly a ton of components that make life worth living; love, friendship, family, careers, destinations. But there are really only a few things that actually make humans feel alive. I want to encourage you in the year 2017 to find whatever it is that makes you want to keep going, then remember, to do it as often as you can.
Next January, I want to look back & say I lived a year in my life that was truly worth it, that I truly loved, & that I truly felt alive. In order to do that I know I must remember to create.
Have I said it enough yet? Probably. I just really don’t want to forget.
— abbey kay
*brought to you by a girl who wants to create, & who remembers that is the reason she is alive