I normally write a birthday post (which I didn’t) & I usually write an end of the year one too (which I should have done sooner). But this year has been different for me, so this year you’re going to get both in one. The year 2016 was one of a lot of growth for me. It was a year of pain, joy, tears, heartache, happiness, & change, none of which I am any good at honestly. This year every single day was a complete challenge for me. There’s a lot that I did that I’m super proud of in 2016, & a lot that I’m sadly not. This year made me move forward in so many ways that I didn’t think I was ready for exactly. But life doesn’t wait for you to be ready, it just keeps tumblin’ on & you either have to learn to catch up with it, or be okay with it dragging you along for the ride. This year, I did both. This year was both good & bad.
One. I dyed my hair grey which was a 4 month old dream. It lasted three weeks & it damaged my poor hair like crazy, but it lead me to knowing I like my hair blonde. Two. I grieved my grandpa’s death. Three. I got to model punny tees for a favorite brand of mine & the rooftop & coffee shop shots were killer. Four. I found out that I was going to be an auntie to a bay girl via a pink donut gender reveal party. Five. I completely upped my coffee & donut picture game. Again. Six. I cried over my grandpa’s death. Seven. I traveled to San Francisco for a week long family vacation where I got a lot of cool photography practice. Eight. I had a major emotional meltdown on said vacation which lead to the open conversation of finding out my parents both struggled with either anxiety & depression. I struggled with both all year long while grieving my grandpa’s death. Nine. I went to Las Vegas for a weekend to visit my brother & came back an X-men fan. Ten. I struggled with being happy about the arrival of my new niece while I was still so sad about my grandpa passing away. It took me most of the year to deal with both. Eleven. I got my first official photography client shooting products. My work has flourished & I’m still in awe that my images get used for a local company. Twelve. I did my first, second, & third Instagram takeover. My Snapchat was also featured as a local account to follow. And I was part of a national shoe campaign. Thirteen. I did my first few maternity & newborn photoshoots. Humans are hard to capture, but I’m getting the hang of it. Fourteen. I missed my grandpa. A lot. Everyday. I cried, a lot, (almost) everyday. Fifteen. I became an aunt to the prettiest blue eyed baby girl ever, Raegan. Sixteen. My favorite band since I was 12 released another album, & of course it was just as good as their first one. Seventeen. A picture I took my of niece & my grandma was nominated for a local photography award known as an Instagrammy. Eighteen. I won my first ever Instragrammy award. Nineteen. I worked with three new photographers this year for modeling shoots. Twenty. I got myself a handsome boyfriend. Twenty-One. I got really close to my grandma while I cried over my grandpa’s death with her. I got even closer to my mom while we grieved together too. Twenty-Two. I stopped nannying & got a part time job (still watching babies of course) so that I could focus more on blogging & photography & starting a business. Twenty-Three. I separated myself from reality thinking it would make things less real. Turns out it doesn’t & I learned that the hard way. Twenty-Four. I turned 24 years old & celebrated my first birthday/Christmas having a significant other. It was nice & new, & I enjoyed every bit of it.
This is just a glimpse of the bright & dark days that were 2016. If I learned any thing this past year, it’s that it’s okay to be sad, & it’s okay to not know how to be happy because you’re sad. I don’t think I’ll ever forget this year. It was a year where new people entered my life, & a year where I made a lot of people exit it. I was broken for most of the year, & I still am in so many ways too. But this year forced me to face the struggles of new life & death head on. I’m not necessarily proud of how I handled it all, but I did the best I could & I’m somehow making it out on the other side somewhat okay.
Life is good & bad sometimes. That’s okay. Thank you for showing me that 2016.
Happy New Year! Cheers to hopefully better days in 2017, & knowing it’s okay if the days are sadly not.
– abbey kay
*brought to you by a girl who is glad this year happened for so many more reasons than she could ever count