a letter to my niece

Dear Raegan,

You’re finally here. You are born! Welcome to the world kid. This day has been long awaited, you have no idea! You’re my first niece & donut tell the future others, but you’ll probably forever be my favorite. Mainly because your mom & dad are my favorite, but I’m sure they’ll get over the fact that you’ve replaced them for first in line for affection in my heart. You are one half of each of my best friends, which means you are the best of everything that I already love so much!

You have so many people around you that love you & I hope you always know that. You might not though, because hey that’s the complication of life & emotions & figuring it all out sometimes. You’re not always going to feel it, but know it’s true. You are loved, which means there are people who will do anything for you, there are people who are there to hear you, there are people who want to understand you fully. Life is hard sometimes, but the people you surround yourself with will make it all worth it.

I’ve never been an aunt before, so thank you for making me one! You’re tight. I hope I don’t mess this third parent thing up, but I probably will. Just know I’m always there for you. Like, I’m not a normal aunt, I’m a cool aunt. (We’ll watch Mean Girls one day & you’ll get what I’m saying. And you better not be a Regina George because that is so not fetch.) I promise to give you your first donut one day. I promise to introduce you to Relient k, because best band ever kid. I promise to always get you the coolest clothes, & I promise I won’t let your uncle Trevor buy you penguin things beyond the age of 4. He’s weird, the quicker you know that, the better. I promise to always tell you how beautiful you are, because you are & you have a worth that goes deeper than the mirror could ever reveal.

Your mom is my best friend, did you know that? She’s the greatest friend I have ever had. I didn’t like her at first, but it was literally for no reason other than to protect your dad. Tough me, I know. But your mom (calling my best friend a mom is whack!) is the kindest person you’ll ever know. She’s sweet & genuine & is the most fun to be around. She’s not supposed to be your friend though. She’s your mom. She’s the woman you’re supposed to look up to, so do it. Watch her. Learn from her. Respect her & don’t talk back. Love her & remember she is human. She has feelings & emotions, so don’t be mean no matter how unfair you might think she’s being one day. Whatever she’s doing, she’s doing it out of love because she really does love you so much. You’ll get it & understand better when you’re my age. Just remember that she was once where you’re at so she seriously knows what’s she talking about.

Your dad, my brother. He’s my other best friend in life. He was the one person I looked up to when I was younger. No one could make me madder than your dad. No one could make me laugh harder than your dad. Your dad protected me from so much, & I have no doubt that he will do the same for you. You might not think it’s fair, but you’ll thank him & Uncle Darin one day I promise. Love your dad. Really though, love him. Talk to him. Share things with him. He loves you so much, you can trust him. Sorry, you’re just going to have to deal with his silly moods like we all have for years. It’s what we hate to love about him. Let him teach you things, it’ll make you more well rounded one day. Respect him, meaning treat him well & listen to his guidance. You don’t have to always agree with him, but you do need to do right by him & his rules. (If they’re lame, maybe your mom & I can get him to change them eventually, so chill.)

Now for me? Well I have a lot to say to you. Okay kid, here it comes. The truth. This world isn’t always fun. This world isn’t always bright. You came at a time when sadness was looming hard. But with all the bad, comes the good. Be the good Rae. There is shit in this world. But always look for the good because it’s there. Be nice. Be considerate. Be a good friend. Get to know yourself & who you are because you’ll forever be the closest person to you. It’s a good thing to know & like who you are. Like what you like & don’t ever make an excuse for it. Whatever it is that makes your heart fly, chase it & soar Rae. Learn all that you can. If you make a mistake, own up to it, & try hard to not make it again, but know that it’s okay if you do. Be honest. Be smart, stay aware. Go to college, or don’t. Get to know the world you’re living in. Road trip. Travel. Read. Be involved in your community. Stand up for injustice. Stay away from boys, they’re straight up trouble Rae. They don’t really start getting super handsome until your 20’s anyway, so wait it out & you’ll thank me later. 

Life is short & fragile Raegan. Time doesn’t wait for anybody. Opportunities pass before you realize they were even there. If you love someone, tell them. If you have to apologize, do it fast. If there’s a path you see yourself on & you hate it, then make a new path Rae. Dream any & every dream you can. Then go out there & make them happen. I hope the world is a better place for you when you come to the age of more understanding. If it’s not, I hope you have the courage to fight for what is right. I hope you stand up & use the voice you’ve been given to say something meaningful. You might come to a point where you’ll have to figure out how to be happy while you’re really sad. But someone once told me that humans are incredible, you won’t have to think about it, you’ll just be it. Raegan, life isn’t always easy, I want you to know that. But also know that I’ll always be here to help you figure it out. I won’t give you answers, because I don’t know them Rae. You’ll need to find the answers to your questions on your own. But I’ll be there when you fall. Know that failure doesn’t mean you lost, it just means you have to find another way to win. 

Raegan, whatever you do, whoever you become, it’s going to be great. It’s going to be worth it. The heartache you’ll feel, the hurt you’ll encounter, the betrayal you might come across, it’s part of growing up. Pain is real, but it’s through it that you’ll find yourself. You’ll be stronger & it’ll make you better. Life is a creative journey Rae. There’s no one way to live it so don’t be afraid to live it how you want. Create the life you want to live & your life will be worth living. Please know you have worth. Don’t let anyone treat you like you’re less than all that you are. I can’t wait to watch you grow up. I can’t wait to see your life unfold. You are beautiful. You are capable. You are brilliant. You have so much to offer this world. Remember, you’re not defined by anything other than the love that surrounds you. So seek love & love well. 

You’ve lived your first few days of life, the first days of you becoming all that you are meant to be. I’m already so proud to know you. Now go explore. There’s beauty around every corner Raegan & I hope you find it.

With all the love I have for you & the promise to keep being there for you no matter what,

Your Aunt Abbo

PS

I don’t know if you will call me that. But your mom named me it like a million years ago, so unless you come up with something cooler & we talk her out of this already given name, then I’m sorry that’s what you have to call me because of her… She chill though, still.

*brought to you by a girl who became an aunt & is filled with so much love, joy, & excitement