it’s fall over

Sweater/ Forever 21 similar Turtle Tank/ Forever 21 similar Booties/ Forever 21 Clutch/ Forever 21 Jeans/ Old Navy

It’s December 8th, so I guess that means fall is officially over. We wait all year for it to come around & then it just vanishes like the rest of time. Well, I must say this fall was a good one for me. It’s one where I soaked in adventure & made it last for as long as I could. Remember at the beginning I challenged myself to complete a few tasks? Well I thought I’d update you on my fall into it to-do list which is sadly not a completely completed to-done list, but I tried my best & accomplished most of it.

So I wore more hats. I did. Even if just for an outfit picture. Even if just to work. I wore em. I loved it. And I’ll keep wearing them no matter how many stares I get around this town. I even baked a peach pie with my grandma. It was nice. Which is a lot to say if you know my Gra. She was kind & gentle & actually taught me how to do it. I’ll thank myself for that part of the list one day for sure. Such a sweet memory. I also took an adventure. It wasn’t solo. But it was good for my soul & it did involve taking pictures of the changing leaves. Thanks for that fun day Manda Duwbya! I tried a new coffee shop, but it wasn’t by myself & it wasn’t the one I had in mind to try. I’ll give myself a sneaky round of applause for that one, but still am holding myself accountable to trying out that place where my boyfriend might work. (Don’t remember? Go read what I’m talking about here.) I did something with purpose & on random too. Boss appreciation day was in October so I bought the mommy who I nanny for some flowers & a gift card saying how much I appreciate her allowing me to watch her little ones. I love the gift of seeing them grow up & change. It’s sweet moments I share with them that make get through each week. She loved it. That was purpose. I helped a little boy hold onto the edge of the ice skating rink so he wouldn’t fall. He smiled. That was random. And it came back around when his parents had him come thank me just before he left. Then I smiled. I picked out a book! I read the book! I haven’t quite finished the book… But I have every intention on doing so because I love it! I chose to read #Girlboss by Sophia Amoruso & that was a great decision. I’m actually gonna read a bit of it once I finish this post! If you’re a girl, read it. You won’t want to put it down.

Lastly, & honestly the most hard/rewarding thing on my list was to learn to be more care- free. Now I don’t know how one exactly learns this skill, but I somehow did it upon habit & not so much thought. I became not fully, but more prone to going with the flow of things. I stressed less. I worried less. I let things not be as big of a deal as I usually would have let them be. My hair went natural, momentarily. My clothes became simple. My schedule was more relaxed. My time was appreciated. It was nice. I forget sometimes that we need to let things slow down for a season. That it’s okay to just be & letting be is enough. I feel like I skipped out on God during this time though which made my mind chaotic & running a million miles a second. I can live without everything in my life. Without lists, without goals, without clothes. But I can’t live without Him. And when I try to my life has less meaning, less joy, & less real understanding of how things are supposed to be. So the only goal I want for the entire month of December is to remember Him. To remember the One who came to redeem me from my self-destructing self. Without Him I can live, but with Him I am alive.

— abbey kay