the truth behind no make-up

Girl world. It’s a thing. Some are forgein aliens to it, while others live in the center of the capitol. It’s a place where skin meets toner, eyes meet shadow, locks meet spray, & lips meet pigment. Our grandmother’s perfected it, our moms enhanced it, & our generation either loves or loathes it. It’s now known as the fake world. It’s known as a cover up place. It’s slowly becoming the rejected city where only lepers dwell.  And I don’t know how we got there. When did it become a sin to wear make-up & when did we start shaming the girls that do?

If you know me, have follwed me, or have seen any of my pictures, then you know this one solid thing about me: I wear make-up. Always have & I most likely always will. It’s just something I like to do. And most of my friends & family just know this to be true about me. You probably won’t see me without any make-up on unless you jump on my bed to wake me up. And if you do that, your vision probably won’t last for long because you’d soon be eternally sleeping thanks to me. But ever since I’ve started blogging/instagramming I’ve gotten so many comments reffering to my all-make-up-all-the-time look in a negative way & it truly offends me. Things such as “you would look so much better with less make-up” or “just don’t wear it, it’s not gonna kill you” or (here’s my absolute favorite) “your make-up makes you look like a zombie”. Haha, right? That last one… I just laugh them off or wait for a text from my sister-in-law who wants to find these people & fight them because she of all people knows that I’m not me without make-up on. She’s the one who told the make-up artist at her wedding to let me draw on my eyeliner wings because “it’s just not Abbey without them”. And she’s right. It’s just not me without make-up. Let me explain.

This world is tough for a girl. We have all these things telling us who to be, what to wear, to do this or to do that, or not to do this because you’re supposed to do that. It’s crazy & chaotic & makes me want to just go live naked in the forest sometimes. But not really, that’d be…sticky? Anyway, there’s just so much influence around & so many generations batting to have their voice & opinion heard. And I feel like the latest thing being thrown out there by the younger generation is to not fall into the beauty scene & just be your natural self. And it’s so harshly being spoken of that I feel that it’s almost sort of a demand. That if you do wear make-up & don’t choose the plain route then you must just hate yourself & have no self-confidence & you belong under a rock where the rest of the image seeking, money hungry, beauty business people deserve to be. Well pump the brakes & let the tires screech, I’m here to tell you that it’s okay if you decide to wear make-up because you’re the same beautiful you even with it on.

My make-up wearing journey started the summer between 6th & 7th grade & I was only allowed to wear brown eyeshadow & curl my eyelashes. That was it. Before then I had only worn make-up during ballet recitals & my mom would let my curl my lashes on special occasion because they were so long & it was fun to copy her. Other than that, I was late in the game compared to my other elementary friends who were already gunking it onto their faces. (Side note: thank you mom for holding me off on the stuff, I appreciate the timeline you set up for me.) Once 7th grade hit my mom allowed me to add in some brown mascara & the use of her foundation to cover up the extremely awesome teeange hormoine spots that popped up over night. Fast forward to the very last week of 8th grade & she let me use brown eyeliner. Yes, they make colors other than black ladies. I didn’t do wings then, so just over the lid & under & that was my beauty regimen. Lucky me for not falling into the scene style make-up scene, but I did slip into the hair teasing for a bit. But that’s a horendous story for another high time (yikes!). Freshman year in high school is when my mom & I went to Ulta to buy my first foundation kit. We got the Bear Minerals starting kit & I used that stuff throughout high school. It came with three brushes, a foundation powder, & a deep rose blush. I still own all those brushes, but have switched brands. During my junior year is when I got my first job & that’s when my mom started making me buy all my make-up myself. I remember asking her one day if I had to use brown eyeliner still to which she replied, “you pay for it yourself, you can buy whatever you want.” My eyes got so wide as I reached for the first ever black eyeliner I would ever own. Later I switched to blackest black mascara too. It was all down hill from there, I now had the power from my debit card & the freed permission from my mom to try out any & every type of make-up that I had ever wanted to try. And I mostly did. I discovered blues were not my thing & neither were pale pinks. I tried new blushes, different brands, eyebrow shapes, & watched so many Youtube beauty videos & copied many magazine looks. I am so grateful for the make-up timeline that my mom laid out for me. I don’t feel like she let me grow up too early or dive in too quickly. It was just right. 

Now that I’m 21, I’ve had the time to try out  a BUNCH of make-up routines. I’m still developing the one that best suites me, but bottom line is I love putting on make-up. It’s just me. I love trying out new trends & beauty prodcuts & following beauty hacks & tips. When I don’t wear make-up, I honestly don’t feel like myself. I feel tired & exhausted with no energy. Trust me. I have done it before. I have worn NO make-up before laying around the house & I hate it each & every time I do it. Props to the girls who can do it. But for me, it’s like not brushing my teeth, I just don’t feel right if I don’t do it. That doesn’t make me a bad person for loving make-up. I’m not “covering” something up. It’s who God made me to be, a girl who loves wearing outfits, (sorta) doing her hair, & wearing make-up. And that’s okay! It’s okay that I’m like that. And it’s okay if you’re a girl who likes to do it too. Don’t listen to the literal make-up haters. If being yourself is applying make-up each & every morning then be you & do it. 

So blame the media or the beauty industry, or heck even blame my mom for always wearing make-up too, but I will wear make-up every day however I want to wear it until the end of my time. And no comment, opinion, or advice will ever change that. Make-up is one of the things that makes me, me & I’m okay with that.

—abbey kay

*This post brought to you by the lovely band Echosmith & their Talking Dreams album on nonstop repeat. Check them out! So, so good.