All heart, no love

So this last weekend was just the absolute worst for me! I got sick on Friday, got stood up on Saturday night and felt completely run down and broken on Sunday. The weekend was a complete blur and waste for me, I honestly hated it. I’m pretty good at hiding things and shutting certain details out of my life with people. I like to internally work through things on my own even though I ultimately know that talking about them with someone is my best option. So Sunday morning I asked my mom if we could go to lunch together after we went to church, just me and her. She knew right away that I needed some Momma time. She almost had to back out because of work which bummed me out even more but of course she made time for me like she always does. We went to our favorite “talking” restaurant and ordered our usuals. She sat and waited and waited for me to begin. I started off with how the church sermon went that day. It was talking about the fruit of the spirits which is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. I’d heard these a million times since I was a kid so I was like yeah yeah okay sir, I get it already! I have these fruits and I’m supposed to use them. But then the pastor said something I’d never heard before, he said that they all work as one not individually. And that if you think you lack one (for me patience) that’s exactly where God is working in you. And it’s so true! I’m horrible with being patient! I hate waiting. Couldn’t wait for high school to be over. Can’t wait for each work day to be over. Can’t wait for college to be over. Can’t wait to me the boy I’m gonna marry (hurry up!). I simply cannot wait. And it doesn’t help that I feel that all my friends are five steps ahead of me while I’m taking three back. But my mom reminded me that I’m only 19, I’m young and have my whole life ahead of me. I’m going somewhere and doing what I love along the way. And I know she’s right even though I feel lost and unsure of life about 97% of the time! I just have to remind myself to be patient because time is continual so what’s it really matter anyways? Anyways after lunch my mon bought me the most beautiful dress that completely brightened my entire mood. I just love her! She’s the best mom in the whole world. So on that note appreciate momma’s, appreciate gifts, and appreciate the life you have been given.